Mental Cobwebs

I enjoy sitting down to take a load off just as much as any other man, but I might go overboard sometimes. Often, I sit on the toilet until my legs fall asleep, reading a magazine, playing a handheld game, or surfing the Internet. When I got my laptop, there was a good month where I refused to have it cross the line into the bathroom with me. Eventually, I broke that rule, and I've never looked back.

Now I have the entire world at my fingertips while I expel the evil from my rectum. I just hope none of the process transfers from my fingertips to the entire world.

The only bad thing about pooping is the clean-up process, and that's the part I like to put off for as long as possible. It's like prolonging an orgasm. I sit down and have an immensely satisfying poop, then I put off the unsatisfying part of it until the act of putting it off actually becomes a nuisance. When the tingling in my legs is too much, the cleaning up of my bottom no longer seems that bad of a task.

Look, we all know that you watched that episode of Home Improvement where Tim Allen shows of the Man's Bathroom and thought, "Hell yes!" Don't even try to judge me.

By the way, I wrote all of this while I was putting off the clean-up process. Now, to get to work.